Top 20 Signs You’re in EMS

I saw this recently on — and some of these are really pretty good. It gave me a good laugh, and I think it’s worth sharing. Now, please don’t loose your lunch over reading this…

  1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
  2. You believe a good tape job will fix anything.
  3. Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change.
  4. You have the bladder capacity of five people.
  5. You disbelieve 90 percent of what you are told and 75 percent of what you see.
  6. You believe chocolate is a food group. (Amen!)
  7. You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance.
  8. Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
  9. You believe that “shallow gene pool” should be a recognized diagnosis.
  10. You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf down your food even in the finest of restaurants.
  11. You debate which is worse, spaghetti and meatballs with red wine or pizza with beer while performing gastric lavage.
  12. You believe that “Ask-a-Nurse” is an evil plot thought up by Satan.
  13. You believe that having an ambulance at a “Health Fair” was his next idea.
  14. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase “Wow, it’s really quiet” is uttered.
  15. You threatened to strangle anyone who even starts to say the “Q” word when it is calm.
  16. You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name.
  17. You say to yourself “great veins” when looking at complete strangers.
  18. You have ever answered a “lost condom” call.
  19. You believe that “too stupid to live” should be a diagnosis.
  20. Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
We’re a special group, that’s for sure!